The other day I wrote on this very blog that I was tied and frustrated about stuff and today I have butterflies because I feel excited about something, I feel as if I am 8 year old on the morning of Christmas
I have no idea I remedy to think why I am feeling like this and the only thing happening is I am
not the dentist at 2.30pm that hardly warrants a belly full of Butterflies, I hate the dentist and having two cracked teeth being treated is hardly my idea of fun on a Tuesday afternoon.
So why am I am so excited? Maybe it’s not excitement, maybe my brain is confused and the excitement is fear, fear because I am going to have a man who I hardly know lay me down and shove metal instruments in my mouth, attack me with a drill and put stuff in the hole a substance that may or may not cause age onset memory loss, sorry cannot spell
alszi….Allz…. alszam…… Even my predictive text cannot spell it but you know what I mean, anyway you get my drift.
Maybe the new slides how software I have just got and going to make slide shows for OUR website, but going back to human emotions, they are strange even with studying psychology they still make no sense sometimes.
Ok I am going to admit it, I am a man….. That’s isn’t what I was going to admit even so I am a man, well I was the last time I looked…. I cry, I cry at some songs, some films, X Factor and some TV shows, but I am tough I shouldn’t cry, some days In am in terrible pain, I don’t cry then. I try to stop myself or disguising the fact that what every it is that’s making me cry by drinking my coffee, scratching my head, say some really stupid question like, “it’s hot in here” or ” There goes that allergies again” “I need to go pee” or “Oh I need something to eat” I seem to get away with it for years, or just no one either notices it or really care as they are working hard to stop them from crying. If I am alone I weep openly here are some things that get me;
● The end of Saving Private Ryan
● Dying animals
● Country & Western songs
● When good revenge happens
● When I feel truly loved
● When my grandaughters phone me on my birthday
● When I see people reunited after decades of being lost to each other
● Watching the Para Olympics when they get a medal
● And the rest.
Anger is an emotion I don’t have a lot of I was told I should have, we all should get angry, apparently it’s good for body and soul. I get angry at myself, when my legs don’t behave or I drop one thing four or five times, even more so if it is my breakfast, Rudeness and disrespect also gets me especially when I have gone out my way to be polite, something like holding open a door for someone and that person doesn’t say thank you! Respect that’s all I asked or someone in front of me opens a door and let it swings in to me, respect.
Happiness i love being happy, I love laughing, I love my granddaughters, being with them laughing and joking, telling me stories about their life and me telling them silly stories and we all laugh.
My friend makes me happy, the smart, funny, loving, happy friend – one day
Love making jewellery, building web sites and photography sprinkled with a bit of metal detecting.
I am made up of love, hate, jealous, anger, weep, laugh, hug, kiss, joke, negative, neutral, positive – I am who I am and that is ME.
Thank you. It’s hard sometime, but it will all come together . 🙂
What if your blessings come through raindrops,
What if your healing come through tears
What if a thousand nights are what it takes to know you’re near
What if trails of this life your mercies in disguise.