I am laying here in the dark listening to music it’s 23.47, i have slept for about an hour, which is good for me. I heard a phrase just 10 minutes ago in a song and it said “I feel like I am falling with each breath I take” I know just how that feels my life is at a stand still, it shouldn’t feel like that, I have a talent for photography, I didn’t tell myself that, people I have photographed tell me that, even have sold images, I make enjoyable jewellery which people buy, i have to beautiful grandchildren who love me and that special someone. But my life has stopped, I feel like I have hit a wall at speed.
So why, I haven’t done anyone any harm, i have not broke the law, have not brought anyone to their knees, haven’t ripped any off. I have given where I can, friendship, money, help, advice. So where is mine, I have not given to get back but given because it’s the right thing to do, so I would do it. I would understand if I was an evil mugger, drug dealer or murderer I wouldnt deserve the good things in life.
I believe in God, say my prays, read my bible, maybe i should start asking for things in my prays, the Lord did say ask and receive, seek and you shall find. I know what I do want.
Maybe I should wait, have patience and what I am hoping for will come soon. It hurts when i find myself alone like I am in a bubble floating in nothingness just bouncing from one black wall to the other.
I do weep sometime at my situation, the pain I suffer, I often thougt about putting my story on one of this charity sites and allow people to donate money to me, but I am not like that, its like scrounging and I dont want to do that.
Lets hope there is a change soon. Love and kindness is what life is about, not killinand taking and this I mean everyone.
49 men and women were murdered for no reason in a gay night club. Yes these people were gay and nothing wrong with that, it cannot be cured, which has been suggested by ignorant arses with giving….. Wait for it…..Straight Stem Cells…..idiots, these Gapeople are still human!!! What annoys me by this is that whennthe people where murdered in France, Facebook was awash with Frence flags, pictures of candles, the lot, but the Gay Club shooting was hardly mentioned, are people afraid of supporting the families in case people thought they were gay??
OK finished now, nice to write things down make my head feel lighter.
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