“Oh no not someone else talking about how much pain they are in and nobody understands it….blah blah blah.”

Yes it is about pain, if your not interested then sod off…. no one is making you stick around and participate.

How many times have you wanted to say to someone who is being a real pain, they sit and moan about having no money or a relationship is not working, they hate their job, their periods are heavy or their car spewed oil all over the road, going on and on and on. But you can not shut them out, not read their text or hit ‘no answer’ when they call to moan down the phone about their lives.  One click and they are gone, you feel at peace, you can sit and watch TV without that chatter constantly in your ears. We have all been there.

Now stop and think, what if you have that friend with you 24/7 chat chat chat cannot concentrate,  cannot sit still, cannot watch a good film at the cinema,, no good going to the party as your friend will be there you cannot do nothing because of your friend.

Now change that annoying chattering friend to physical pain, pain so intense that you cry out, it comes without warning just jumps on you from behind and without saying boo it sticks a knife in your back or leg, arm, head somewhere on your body or multiple of places and this pain is their for 10 minutes but hours of snarling,  grinding biting pain.

Imagine toothache the worse you have ever had then double and treble it, now it’s in the whole of your body….. your close.

These  pains don’t. well most don’t come from physical symptoms,  they come from the brain, the brain has been damaged at some point in the womb or within the early years of life, the experts are still not sure how it happens they just know it does and it’s cripplingly painful. On top I have spinal problems which leads to damage of the eaves that control functions, also have nodules that are growing in the knuckles on both hands.

How do I cope I hear you shout, with a very good special doctor without her she has not cured the pain it’s still very intense but supplied me with enough painkillers to knockout a herd of elephants.

Example today woke up the pain my hip was double,  until I stood up and was laid down again like someone stuck red hot anything in my hip right to the bone and beyond,  struggled up, glad my wife is on holiday this week and she helped me….This is 17 hours later I am still awake and the knife is still twisting.

I know some of you who are reading this are thinking to yourself, how can pain be that bad, surely you are use to it and it’s not 24/7 believe me when I tell you that pain is constant somewhere on my body, I am laying here and I have a pain in my ankle a kin to twisting your ankle and in my jaw, like tooth pain and funny enough I have only had toothache twice and I would rather have that then this pain.

What do I take? I take dihydrocodine up to 8 a day sometimes 10 along with Fentanyl (Transdermal Route) which means they are patches, this drug helps with the constant pain but not with bursts of pain, the others are for that.

I think that’s about it for now, if I think of anything I will let you know thanks for reading so far, if your in the same boat let me know if your need support, chat or a rant.






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