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If I was on the bachelorette I would make friends with the camera crew so whenever someone said some dumb shit, I could just turn and stare directly into the camera like Jim Halpert.

You gotta wonder just how much the current state of our country is directly related to the fact that millions of millennials watched 2 girls eat human feces out of 1 cup right as their brains were beginning to develop.

That was a fruit fly, which makes sense, because that guy spends a lot of time near an orange.

The best part of this debate is when a fly landed on Mike Pence’s head

Last week I was laying in bed and felt something on my face. I went to grab it and it was a massive spider that scurried away. I couldnt find it, so basically I have been sleeping in fear for a week. Today, I found it and absolutely crushed his little skull.

I now know peace.

Ken Jennings is going to take Alex Trebek’s job when he retires.

Life is a simulation.